


OOPS I DID IT AGAIN

by Littlemouse_04



Series: Only Slightly Shitty [5]
Category: Britney Spears (Musician), Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Crack Fic, Teacher Gerard, forgive me satan, i dont know why i did this, i need geesus, legally blond references, sassy Gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 04:52:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13206375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlemouse_04/pseuds/Littlemouse_04
Summary: this was the result of my sending no less than 30 gifs of patrick stump to my non emo friends. my one friend was listening to music (all of our favourites: Heavy Metal Happy and You Know It, (link in notes)) and the fabulous gifs kept stopping her music, to which she said IT DID IT AGAIN and because i have a messed up brain.... this fic was born.





	OOPS I DID IT AGAIN

The class filed in.  
The silence filling the room was all-encompassing.  
You could hear a pin drop.

The darkness at the front of the lecture hall concealed everything; no light penetrated the sea of black.

 

Suddenly, a single spotlight burst into life.  
There was a lone figure, standing before the class, hips cocked, head bowed, and one single hand in the air, poised as though the slender fingers were about to snap.  
Everybodys' eyes were trained on the silhouette, waiting. Waiting for a single movement.

The air was buzzing.

Slowly the figure raised their head. With a single breath, they flicked the flaming mane of hair away from their face.

Silence.

"WELCOME,"  
The student all jumped,  
"to your first term at our prestigious sasscademy."

The silhouette finally snapped their fingers and light bloomed in the auditorium, lighting up their face.

"I will be your teacher. Gerard. Now for our first lesson," His loud voice commanded attention, " we learn the basics. Can anybody tell me what the key to succsass is?"

Whispers erupted between the student before one frail voice emerged.

"Eyebrows?"

Gerard raised one eyebrow so far up his face, it receded his hairline. The students were amazed! The collective gasp of admiration swelled in the room, how could he do it so effortlessly?

"NO."

The gasp was cut short. One kid in the back coughed because he didn't breathe out afterwards, like a fucking idiot.

"The true meaning of sass is......PASSION"

Without warning, Gerard flounced across the stage dramatically, a perfect imitation of Lucius Malfoy in the Very Potter Musical. He pirouetted and leapt into the seats like a graceful deer, before caressing the face of Eyebrow Guy.  
Slender fingers pulled their face forward. Their eyes were the size of the moon, though it was only 2pm.

"Shut da fuq up" and Gerard sprang away.

"Now that we have learnt how to truly BE sassy, we can continue." Gerard was miraculously back on stage.

"The most important move you will ever learn, is the BEND. AND SNAP."

1\. you wiggle dat booty in the air like you just don't care.

2\. you lavishly stroke the ground.

3\. SNAP your back straight as it a foreign object has swiftly been shoved up your rectum

4\. bring your elbow in and poke your hand out, like a horizontal BOI point

"Now...PRACTICE"

 

 

30 minutes into the session, a faint noise was heard outside. It sounded almost like......music.

It drew closer.

Legends say, if you hear music in the halls of the building, the one true sass being will show itself.

Everyone went silent. The faint music still continued, growing still.

The doors burst open to a crescendo of glitter and the fabled bop.

"...OH, BABY BABY! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?"

The god, by the name of Patrick, strutted in in full Britney getup.

One of the students, Pete or something, collapsed to the floor in prayer before slithering across the aisle to the god.

He gripped onto the heeled shoes and knee-high socks, crying due to the sheer beauty of the creature.

"Oh ma gawd, Pehtrick, you so HAWT!"

To which the legend replied: "Bitch i know"

The entire class fell to their knees to pray to the almighty being.

He just ran his hands over the tied-up blouse and sashayed away, music still blaring, skirt swooshing behind him.

 

Every student had been blessed that day.

Apart from Eyebrow Guy. They can piss off.

**Author's Note:**

> This was awful, i know. Dont judge me. Im hungry and ill. Also lazy. Very lazy.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7aHAS3B43Q
> 
> I proudly forced my friends to listen to this at school about two years ago. No regrets.


End file.
